Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Small Obstacles

Ever since the beginning of this year, the Lord has been showing me, as well as guiding me to make decisions that many people thought were completely irrational. They either thought I was being too extreme, or being too religious. My most recent “irrational decision” was this week when I made the decision to relentlessly remove from my life anything that was even mildly evil/bad. It is a life long process, but it’s a process I want to pursue. I should add that the decisions the Lord has led me to may not be for everyone. It's like convictions, not everyone has the same ones.

One of my constant prayers to God is to help me built my life around Him, and for Him to consume my thoughts. I want Him to consume my life, and that means E V E R Y inch of it. But sometimes sin creeps in, some sins are so mild that we don’t even know that we are sinning, and we put unnecessary obstacles in the way that hinder our relationship with God; things that rob our attention from God. That was happening to me and I didn't understand why I couldn’t pray without ceasing, or keep my focus on God alone throughout my day. Later, the Lord began to show me all the small but effective things that were hindering me from living my life completely surrendered to the Lord.

To give an example, one of the first steps I took was to go into my iTunes, and delete all the music that was not God-centered. After I was captivated by my Savior and decided to live out my life for Him, I was 13 years old, and I began to clean out my life and throw away anything that was evil like all the bad songs with horrible lyrics and messages. As the years have gone by, I seem to have gone even more in depth. The Lord showed me last week that most of the music I listen to is not bad music, but they weren't pointing me to Him! They kept on pointing me to my feelings, and how I feel. As well as my desires in the flesh, like when I listened to cute “harmless” love songs. In reality those love songs would have me thinking about my future husband and longing for an earthly love story that would leave me aching inside, instead of focusing only in my love story with Him.

One of the reasons that I started out with music was because I thought it was going to be an easy step, but it turned out quite differently. I suddenly began to hesitate as my favorite artists began to show up in my playlist like Priscilla Ahn, James Vincent Mcmorrow, Coldplay, etc. I didn’t realize how emotionally attached I was to these songs and I began to think twice about it. Voices in my head began to tell me I was being too extreme, and unnecessary, but the Lord lovingly showed me otherwise. When I was about to “call it off” a sudden thought came across my mind, “How can you not give this to God, something so little, when YOU ask Him to do big things for you? How do you expect for God to use you in a great and mighty way when you can’t even obey Him and be faithful in such a small thing as this?” Those thoughts really hit me and they strengthened me to continue in my pursuit, even when many people may think it is too extreme and won’t understand, because I live for His applause alone.

I know that is not going to be easy as I go further down this narrow road, but He is worth it.

Small and subtle obstacles such as these go by unnoticed all the time; we have to be in constant prayer, asking God that of Psalm 139: 23-24 so that we may continue to remove all filth no matter how small the smudge.

“ Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!”

The Lord showed me these two verses (and a couple more) when I began my pursuit to live a set-apart life for Him and I want to share them with you in the hope that it may encourage you and give you guidance as much as they did to me.

2 Corinthians6:17
“Thereforego out from their midst,
and be separate from them, says the Lord,
and touch no unclean thing;
then I will welcome you,”

Isaiah 33: 15-16
“Hewho walks righteously and speaks uprightly,
who despises the gain of oppressions,
who shakes his hands, lest they hold a bribe,
who stops his ears from hearing of bloodshed
and shuts his eyes from looking on evil,
he will dwell on the heights;
his place of defense will be the fortresses of rocks;
his bread will be given him; his water will be sure.”

Do you have anyconvictions or decisions you took that many won’t and don’t understand that you would like to share? I’d love to hear them, they can be very encouraging.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Laurent,

    I dont listen to any music that isnt pointing to Christ either. I have been going through a few weeks were I want to give my all to God, but it just doesnt seems to be happened, crazily enough, I have been praying that prayer, search my heart... I think this is my answer. The books I read, the technology I use, everything I do everday... is it pointing to Him?

    Some convictions and descions I have come to in the past were certain tv shows we watched every week, one was on a Sunday, and though it was not bad, it was not God-honouring, and I just felt that I had to lay it aside, that was one of the hardest things I did, because my friend whom I talked about it with every week, I had to tell her, and she didnt understand my convictions at all, and when she bought the dvd, she would ask me to watch with her numberous times, and I had to stand strong. Telling my parents also, was hard and explaining it to them.

    Have a good week! Hope you have the strength to keep on giving it over to Him.