My grandma was in the hospital for 27 days. She lhad heart surgery and although that was a success, she's had kidney and lung complications which landed her in ICU for 19 days and a breathing tube for 9 days. It was a rough couple of weeks. My father tells me we almost lost here Through it all, though, I've learned one thing: I need to learn to be dependant on Him. I remember crying with my cousin at her desk as I tried to study for a test. My cousin hugged me and told me everything was going to be alright, but as much as I wanted to believe that, it was hard, and as much as she tried to kindly and affectionately comfort me, I knew I needed far deeper comfort. Comfrot that only comes from a Sovereign God.
During my devotional the following morning, I came accross a verse that made me stop and think for a while. Psalm 73:25-26:
"Whom have I in Heaven but you? And there is nothing on this earth I desire besides you. My heart and flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."I realized that no matter how much I tried to not cry or how much my cousin tried to comfort me, there was no way to comfort myself with human strenth. It was only through the strength of God that I could find comfort and peace for everything that was going on in my heart. I had never felt this verse to be so true as when I read "there is nothing on this earth I desire besides you."
I then continued reading and came across Psalm 94:19:
"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."I hadn't yet experienced the joy but I wanted it. I decided to "be anxious about nothing" (Phil. 4:6) and turn my anxieties over to Him. I knew that although there was pain now, His consolation would bring joy to me if I rmained faithful. I wanted all my comfort to come only from Him so I decided to do what I usually do when I seek help from people: spend time with them. I decided to do everything I could to reach that point where I'd feel joy in his consolation. I began studying my Bible a bit more consistently than I had previously. I also decided to do it more frequently in the day. I spent time seraching verses on anxiety, tribulation, worries, peace and joy. I wrote them down on a flashcard. I studied them. I looked at the flashcard often-- especially when I felt sad. Through that time, I grew stronger and more dependant on Him than on the people around me. I was beginning to feel the joy. I felt happier and more at ease when talking about the situation with my grandmother. I didn't cry that often and felt peace about everything that was going on. I knew God was in control.
God never wants you to feel anxiety or worry or restlessness. That's why He tells us to turn all those feelings over to Him and He'll replace them with peace and joy and renewed strength. He wants you to seek Him in your time of troule or need. He gives you what you need to overcome what you're going through. He'll guide you through it if you allow Him too. Therefore, turn over all your anxieties to Him. He won't let you down.
"...so also through Christ our comfort overflows." (2 Cor. 1:5)
Have you ever felt God's consolation bring you joy through anxiety?
Do you have any ways to overcome anxiety or verses that have helped you through it?
I'd love to hear your thoughts. :)