There is a breed of society referred to as "meat-heads." If you don't know them already, know that they spend much of their effort at the gym. A 'meat head' is the guy who spends unhealthy amounts of time on enhancing his body, and getting "big." He is also interested in self-benefiting relationships with the opposite gender.
For the most part, we tend to shy away from this kind of person, seeing that he is very obsessed with himself, and his trivial pursuits for physical perfection. I mean, are they for real? Can they be truly obsessed with getting "big?" Yes.
However, what ticks me off the most about this stereotype is how they use the opposite gender for themselves. For some reason, and at some instinctive and animalistic level, girls are attracted to those big and buff dudes. That isn't an evil in and of itself, and although we might be jealous, what ticks us off is how they use them. Those guys pick a girl up, and after their one night/week/month/year thrill, they dump her like a melted shake.
However, the fundamental selfishness that roams in the mind of the quintessential "meat-head" is much more common than what we like to admit. We have a tendency to do same, only in a much more subtle way.
We talk to her because we want her attention. We text her because we are lonely. We learned to play the guitar because she thinks it's cute. You ask "deep" questions so she sees how "deep" you are. We play volleyball every week because we know she plays. We make ourselves slaves of her affections so that we can satisfy our own ambitions. How sick can we get?
We either know these relationships will not end up in marriage, or lie to ourselves in order to think otherwise so that we can enjoy it longer; and therein lies the nature of the 'one night stand.'
Alas, perhaps I didn't match up the reasons with the activities, but I can guarantee you that any action towards a girl based on those motivations is imitating that buff guy with too much tan. You will pick her up, use her, and drop her. If you're slick, you can give several reasons, but they would ultimately boil down to being rooted in your own desires.
There are a lot of girls that need selfless guys that know how to guard purity. That is something we should obsess over. And we might think that we guard purity by beating up the guy who does something disrespectful to a sister, and certainly so; but the most common way that you can protect her is by keeping your own emotions and desires at bay. Any "meat-head" can protect 'his girl' by punching that guy in the face, but it gets harder when we are the guy that needs a punch in the face.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.Christ died for the church. Not only did he die on the cross, but Christ died to His own desires. That kind of love is beyond self fulfillment, and was fully focused on you and me. Christ demanded nothing from the Church, and yet gave everything. We should do likewise. We should demand nothing from our sisters, and yet be willing to give them everything. This kind of sacrificial love kills us; especially because we receive nothing in return.
- Apostle Paul
At a more practical level, this means not using your sisters to satisfy your own desires. Not that we should become monks, but begin asking yourself about the nature of your friendships with girls. Look at how you two communicate; is it flirtatious? How do you feel after your conversations? Encouraged? Distracted? Cloud 9?
And therein lies the essence of being a gentlemen; not in opening doors or being a good conversationalist, but in the silencing of your own ambition at the altar of weaker sex.