Monday, July 2, 2012

What Girls Do/n't

So this post is going to be the girls version of what Jerry wrote about last week! We agreed it would be a great idea to have the perspective of both sexes. I actually struggled to find anything that I had recently noticed on girls treating guys in a certain way to make them stumble or distract them from their relationship with God. Eventually, I prayed about it and God showed me that there was two things that needed to be addressed.


 I don't go on Facebook much but when I do its usually late at night to check on it for 15 minutes tops and then sign out to get ready for bed. To my surprise, I always find some girls posting things like "I can't fall asleep XD HMU?" or "I am so bored but I can't fall asleep :( text me: (000) -000-0000" (obviously and idiotically with their actual numbers).

 I feel like knocking them out as a favor to help them fall asleep, but God stops me before I excite those thoughts. The problem is they are posting for everyone to see and its as if they are looking for trouble, then you hear them complaining how guys don't have any respect because they text them late at night. Some girls don't mind that guys text them late at night and they don't realize how bad it is since you are most vulnerable to making a mistake such as opening up your heart and exchanging private information to a guy (or a not-trustworthy female.) Those mistakes can end in heart breaks and the need of emotional healing.

Ladies, Please stop doing this before you fail to protect your hearts, even if you think you are completely "okay" with talking to a guy late at night you are still leaving room for error. No matter who this guy is! Think about what signals you are sending to the guy! As their sisters in Christ we have the privilege on being able to help them by protecting their hearts as well. Sometimes guys can be very oblivious and we have to be the ones to draw out the boundaries, but if you are posting things like that on your Facebook or giving your number to every guy you meet, the end of those decisions will not feel so "okay."

So please, if you are having trouble going to sleep do't post it on Facebook. Either just text a (girl) friend or pick up your Bible and have a devotional. No one said you can only have your devotional once.

" Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. " Proverbs 4:23


 In this society, it is completely okay to be best friends with guys. In fact, many say its healthy. What they don't realize is that its impossible to be "best friends" with a guy unless he is your brother and even then.. there are some boundaries. Maybe its not that you can't have a guy friend who you are closest to than your other guy friends because he is the one you get along with the best. Its that the friendship can't be the same as the friendship you have with your girl best friend. Unfortunately, many girls fall into the lie that it is completely alright for them to treat their guy best friends as their girl best friends.

With your girl best friend/s you can share your dreams, desires, and hopes. You can share what you are struggling with and what troubles you. Yet all of these things still need to be done with much discretion and discernment even though you call them your best friend because God can lead you to hold back on some private stuff since He knows your best friend/s heart better than you do and more importantly..yours.

Now, a friendship with a guy cannot look anything like your best friend. The reason is because we are girls and we can get emotionally attached (so easily) to a guy! Even when we weren't looking for the trouble in the first place. Please be wise with the amount of attention you show guys and the amount of time you spend around guys. Its important that you treat every guy with the same care and that you would give guys the same amount of attention. So pick a healthy medium and do not have any exceptions. Guys can be mislead too, especially if they like you.

The twisted problem beneath the surface about having a guy best friend, especially for those girls who do not want to date or etc., is that its almost a substitute to having a boyfriend. If you think about it, everything you do with your guy best friend is what you would probably do with a boyfriend minus the kissing, holding hands (though I have even seen this), etc. Things like talking on the phone late at night, texting him all the time, opening up your heart (you shouldn't even do this until you are engaged in my opinion, but some girls think differently), hugging, going to his house, going out with him alone, etc., it wouldn't change if you were to start dating.

I am not saying you probably do everything of what I had just listed or more, I am saying that you should stop falling into the stupid same lie that every girl tends to feed of off, "But he's just my best friend!" or "He is just a really close friend."  In reality, what you are doing is trying to fill up those emotional desires you feel with the lie of a "guy best friend" instead of a boyfriend. You are just changing the title. What you and your "best friend" are doing is misleading each other and crossing emotional boundaries that will later leave emotional scars.

Clinging close to God and making him our best friend by hanging on to Him ever so tightly will lead Him to be the one filling up all of our emotional desires. You find your fulfillment on God alone and you trying to to fill those desires with other things like guy best friends is like trying to hold water in broken cisterns. Because you keep trying to satisfy your thirst and your desires with the affection or attention from guys you are really drinking water from broken cisterns, in other words because the cisterns are broken their is not enough water, if not at all. Now filling ourselves with the living water that comes from God alone is when our souls and desires will be more than satisfied.... with His perfect, unconditional love and grace.

Jeremiah 2:13
for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart

1 comment:

  1. I work with guys, and I got quite close to one of them, and I wanted to spend time with him outside of work, to hang out with him. This is what I did with my girlfriends, so why cant I do it with guy friends? But I was falling for him.

    Youve confirmed what I thought, Laurent. That you cannot have a close 'guy friend'. I learnt it a little too late, after giving a part of my attentions to this guy.

    Learnt a little too late. I cringe to see the girls at my youth group hanging out and talking to guys just the same as they would their girlfriends.